Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Now What?

So yeah... camp's over. Long story short, we got some extensions and managed without any complaints, and overall I'd say the camp was a success. Definitely memorable and hopefully a life-changing experience for some, if not all the participants there. I can't ask for more. End of story.

Currently back in Labuan. Haven't been much into the blogging mood 'cos I haven't had much time to just sit down and do nothing for my mind to go where it goes when I've got nothing to do (and that's good). Unfortunately that doesn't last forever. The fact that I'm now typing all this out is proof enough that my mind can't idle for very long. It's shitty. It's fucked up.

So wish I could type out everything that's on my mind right now, but that's the trouble with a public blog (my fault for being so gung-ho on blogging when I first started, I know). But I'm wondering, why would I have these things on my mind, why would my mind still be in such a state when I've got a whole lot of weight off my shoulders recently? Results are out, I passed everything, hence I'm graduating, and that's a huge relief. I've pretty much got my career path chalked up and ready to go, and I don't think I could think of a better plan, so that's another huge thing done with. I'm no longer looking into 'baggage' (thanks for that word Jeremy, suits perfectly) so that's no longer an issue. I've got people around me constantly, friends and family. I'm back home! So why am I still having 'headaches'?

Sigh... I know if my thoughts continue going on 'overdrive' like this, a lot of 'things I don't want to happen', will happen. I will lose something and someone I've come to depend on without realising just how significant that is. I'm... starting to ramble.

I'm starting to go insane. I need and anchor for this wayward ship that is my mind, it can't just simply change directions like this everytime the wind blows! FUCK!

All I can say is, the mind is a terrible thing to lose... and I don't want to lose mine.

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