Let's see if I still remember how to do this...

Yes yes, I know. I've been gone off the blogosphere for a while now. 

Any good reasons for it...? 

Well, first of all there was the whole thing about ensuring I graduated this semester. Unfortunately that didn't turn out as planned (the 'ensuring' part), but there's still hope in the horizon. Just hoping the department doesn't decide it's a good time to raise the passing grade this time 'round. So fingers crossed, nothing screws me over this time.

Secondly, politics has become a bit MORE of a circus nowadays. The same shit goes on day in day out, and most of it makes me think I'm just watching a rerun of the past. Well, until someone dies in Parliament, or something NEW that I haven't heard before comes up, I'm steering away from politics for the time being.

And finally... I'm occupied with other matters at the moment. Directing a camp with almost NO committee members, on top of that having less than encouraging participation... let's just say this is an experience I will take with me. Whether I think upon it years later with a smile on my face, or would sooner forget it as soon as it comes to mind is a question I'll only be able to answer after the end of the month.

So what then am I blogging about this time? Well, the beauty of blogs is that you can say what you want, when you want it and DON'T GIVE TWO FUCKS if anyone gives a shit. To me at least.

-Random Ramble (just to get things off my chest)-

These past few days, weeks, and maybe months, have been... well, an 'enlightening' experience for myself. A lot of my past that I thought I had left behind, things I'd rather not remember or think of, awoke from their slumber. Instead of getting rid of or getting over them like I thought I did, they've actually just been hiding in some dark corner of my mind, waiting to pounce. Pounce they did. Unexpectedly. Leaving me in a messed up state. 

Mood swings. 

Inability to feel anything (emotional numbness). 

The things I thought I knew about myself, bit by bit start to crumble leaving me with questions. 

The people I thought I trusted the most, I start to question. 

The things I said I'll never do again, I almost did. 

Memories I never knew I had, I remember in detail now. 

It's just like my brain took the highway down memory lane and entered the unkept rest-stops along the way; dirty, unpleasant, never-to-return-again.

....and when it reached the end it went the other way... yet stopping at the same stops along the way back to the present.

Sigh.

All I know is, I need a break. From all this BAD thinking.

I need a new 'mask'. I need to rebuild my 'pillars'.

I need to get drunk. I need to hear a good joke and have a good laugh.

I need to see friends, good friends, people I can trust.

I need... 'LIFE'.